With the ever-increasing divorce rate in the USA, it is no wonder that you may be thinking of dating a single mom or opening yourself up to the idea.
However, the dating rules are pretty different from the ones who have no children of their own. After all, they have several additional responsibilities as a single parent that override any other priorities in their life.
Do understand, if as a single you find dating to be a messy combination of both fun and frustration, dating as a single mom has its own challenges. There are several rules that almost single moms abide by when in the dating game and to be honest, they make a whole lot of sense, considering their situation. So, let’s take a look at some things you should definitely know before dating a single mom.
Dating a Single Mom? Thumb Rules to know
There are several rules you should definitely know of before dating a single mom which can be listed as follows:
1. You will always be the second fiddle
As a mother, her number one priority will always be her children. Whether her kids are with her or with the dad, they will always demand a major part of her attention. So remember, you have to be ready to play the second or even third fiddle to her children if you want to stay in a relationship with her.
2. Do not spend the night while dating a single mom
It is difficult enough for the kids to understand why their parents no longer live together. Do not confuse them by spending the night at their home.
Unless things between the two of you are serious enough to be forever, be careful of your boundaries and the example that you are setting.
3. Small gestures matter
Dating as a single mom has its own set of problems. An extra effort or a kind gesture on your part is sure to go a long way for her. Sending a random how are you text or getting some flowers delivered in the middle of the day may look like a small thing to you but it is sure to make her feel as if you appreciate the hard word she goes through in her life.
4. Meeting the kids
When it comes to the kids, let her set the tone and pace of the meeting. You may not meet them for a long time just because she may still be unsure of your intentions. Until and unless she is absolutely sure that you are in for the long haul are you going to have the chance to officially meet her kids? Accept it as a part and parcel of single women’s problems.
5. Understand if she changes plans
With the kids come several unpredictable problems. There is always that last-minute doctor appointment or a school emergency that may cause her to change plans. Never take these cancellations personally as they come as a part and parcel of dating a single mom.
6. Set your date accordingly
Though evening or night dates are usually the norms, yet it is pretty difficult for a single parent to leave their kids alone at night. Finding a babysitter and paying for it may be a bigger task than you can imagine. So, try to work around her schedule and set your date accordingly.
7. Do not be jealous of the ex
Always remember, with the kids come to their daddy. Most of the single parents are friendly with each other as they have their kids to think about too. So, one of the thumb rules of dating a single mom is to never be jealous of her ex as in this case he is not a problem; he is the father of her kids.
8. Be a planner
Dating as a single mom requires a lot of patience and planning and if you truly want to spend some time with her, work along with her. You cannot just whisk her off on that romantic weekend at the drop of a hat.
9. Do not assume her intentions
One of the biggest misconceptions men can have is the assumption that women need to be rescued from their single women’s problems. A single mom is not a damsel in distress leading a hard life who needs you as a knight in shining armor to save her.
10. Never ever body shame her
Never ever compare a mom with another lady. A woman’s body changes a lot after giving birth to a baby and there may be stretch marks or a soft tummy to prove the same. Dating as a single woman is a task in itself without you body-shaming her into making her feel as if her boobs are not good enough or anything else is wrong with her body.
11. Do not try to be a Replacement Dad
Even though it may be well-intended, never try to be the children’s new dad early on in the relationship. Let the bond flow naturally and see where you fit into the family. After all, she may not actually even be on the lookout for a new dad. Rather, she may be holding her hand out for a partner in life.
# Consider her as a separate entity apart from her children
Being a single parent is a part of who the lady is. However, it does not mean she has lost her individuality. When dating a single mom, take an interest in her and focus on topics related to her rather than the children. Make her feel that you are interested in her rather than just her kids and her mommy’s life.
12. Be Upfront
Dating as a single mom is a herculean task and it is best if you do not waste any time chasing her without any good intentions. Though not all are looking for the same thing in men, it is best to be upfront about your intentions early on in the relationship. If you like playing the cat and mouse dating games, it is best to date a single rather than dating a single mom.
13. Be Kid-friendly
Though pretty obvious, yet you need to be sure that you can handle kids before thinking of dating a single mom. Ideally, if all goes well, you are sure to be in the kid’s life at some level. So, do not ask out a single mother if you are not ready to have a kid in your life someday.
14. Do Not Be Needy
One of the major single women problems is that they are considered to be too needy by men. However, single mothers rarely have the time to be so. If you are dating a single mom, do not be too needy or too clingy, or else the relationship is rarely going to last. She is already doing the best she can by juggling tons of stuff and you may be just adding on to the pile rather than sharing the load.
At the end of the day, do remember that a single mother is more than just one being. Her children may be a big part of her but they are not the only part. Respect her motherhood and the single women problems she may face while dating as a single mom. The rules that may have applied to her previously may not work for her now that she has a kid looking up to her. So, understand the above-given tips and you are sure to find dating a single mom a lot easier and exciting.
You may also like-
Yes, it is difficult to date a single mothers as they are very confident, loyal, patient, and committed. Also they have other criteria towards boyfriends.
Dating preferences can cause emotional sensitivity and unintentional hurt feelings. If a single mom gets rejected from a guy her feelings get hurt. As nobody wants to hear they aren’t good enough for someone.
Single mom’s are dating by the men who are more real. As they consider positive more over negative. They are aware that woman with kids are not much interested in volatile relationships.