what is ghosting
Dating Relationships

What Is Ghosting in Dating?

August 6, 2020

Ghosting is an urban dictionary term we use when someone in a dating relationship, vanishes  all of a sudden. So what is ghosting in dating? No calls, no messages, no texts from your partner for days, yet you know that he exists but he is avoiding you. That is when you know, you are being ghosted. As dating has triumphed ahead the traditional concept of physical presence, online dating is into the play for a considerable time. So, let’s dig deeper into this thought on what is ghosting in dating whether online or offline. 

What is ghosting in online dating?

Thanks to the popularity of social media platforms, online dating has become easy and accessible to even the most shy people around. On some occasions you might find yourself in an emotional high. You sneak in

to your private corner every morning and evening, only to enjoy a quiet conversation with your partner. You can feel the brewing closeness between the two of you. Bang! One fine morning, he doesn’t text you as he does every morning. Morning to afternoon, still no message. You try to reach out in the evening, but you see he is unreachable. This continues for days till you are forced to accept that he has moved on. 

Ghosting in dating apps are rampant

It’s true that sometimes you find the right match in a  dating app, but heartbreaks are rocks you can stumble upon easily in these dating apps. 

Singles feel dating apps are the best place to find a match. As the social media platforms are the new way to live life, naturally dating via social apps will take a major seat. Dating sites are way more exciting than conventional dating grounds, as there is no paucity of time or place. You get enough choice, to choose and flirt around. In the course of these flirting banter, you may start liking someone and if that someone shows mutual interest, then you are up for an online romance.

Everything seems pink and violet until one day that someone disappears without leaving a note. It is one of toughest phase to live through. If online dating is easy, then online ghosting is equally easy. That’s the hitch.

Why Do People Ghost?

Few tips to follow when you find it impossible to deal with ghosting. But before that, let us find out first, why do people ghost?

1. It’s scary for some

The fear of the unknown on a few occasions takes over the excitement. Once the excitement phase is over, it is time to be practical. The practical story is, you know the person only over the internet. What if he turns out to be a jerk or a geek? This uncertainty leads to a sudden halt in this race of romance.

2. Avoiding future conflicts

If two people fall in love instinctively, then the conflict instincts even come into play. Fighting over small things can spoil a nice and sweet chemistry. It might be that to avoid seeing the worse, a partner decides to ghost away before things go downward and critical. 

3. Different Perspectives

For some people, dating is as casual as drinking coffee. You plan to take a break from coffee, you switch to tea. It is the same with dating. You are bored of one partner, you switch to the next prospective one. To avoid explanations and apology, some people decide to bar all contacts. This often happens in long distance relationships too.  That’s another reason for ghosting. 

what is ghosting in dating

4. Self-centered conscience

If a person is  not happy in a relationship, he may seek an easy way out. Ghosting seems an easy option as you need not face your partner, to explain your ordeal. You just move away.

It is not necessary that the term ghosting dating trend is aligned with online dating only. It is true that ghosting ratio is more in social dating apps, but ghosting in dating does take place in the physical world also. 

  • Casual Date – You might meet each other via common friends or in a conference or so. Both of you meet up later for some casual dates. Then you do not find the spark in the person which you were expecting, hence you choose to go for a disappearing act. You are not committed to even explain your disappearance, so you opt to shut contacts abruptly.
  • Just Friends – This might be a cliched tagline for upcoming couples, but it means true for some people. The moment you find your friend expressing interest in you, you choose to ghost away to stop further expectations. 
  • Colleagues – Yes, this can happen too. You might be quite compatible while working together, but you resign or leave for a different opportunity. You get busy in your life and you simply get over with your earlier colleague. That’s a normal ghosting.

How do I move on from Ghosting?

Ghosting for anyone can be really heartbreaking and painful for the partner who has been ghosted. It can lead to frustration and depression. Few tips to get over ghosting depression:

1. Prioritize your limits

What were you looking out of the relationship? Was it an infatuation, a fling or were you committed to that person? Then evaluate his feelings for you. Of course your partner had a different notion about you and feelings were not alike. So if it had to be the hard way, be it so. This is how it was supposed to stop. Once you stop feeling bad about it, feelings will dissolve on its own.

Avoid blaming yourself. It hurts more

Your partner left without any concrete reason. He just dumped you. It is his loss. His attitude can never win him a  long lasting relationship. So stop thinking about the limitations within you. You have other relations and life commitments to fulfill. Those are way more important than brooding over a person who is half as not important.

Indulge in activities with your loved ones

Your family and friends are here to stay. Give them their due importance and in return they will give you the happiness which you deserve. So do not invest your emotions in the wrong person.

Final Thoughts on What Is Ghosting?

Ghosting is not a very thoughtful idea and this is another form of ditching someone in a rather early stage of a relationship. So, think twice before you do it to someone and in case you are a victim, try moving out of it with these tips above. 

Enough of serious tips! on a lighter note, some ghosting dating memes are doing the rounds in social media showing some sarcasm for this concept and you must check them out. When you look at them, you can relate to your situation but definitely you just don’t feel the pain anymore.

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